A week before Passover, I came down with a really bad cough. It was so bad, I was up in the night for five days' solid, coughing my guts out, and I started to wonder if I'd developed pneumonia, God-forbid.
It kind of half went away over the week of Passover itself, but then it roared back with a vengeance, and I started to feel really run down and ill again.
Now, one of the main reasons I started JEMI is because I wanted to share all the things I've learned about how your soul and your emotions directly impact your health - and here, God gave me a real-time example.
Whenever I was doing business development stuff, my throat would feel like it was closing up, and I'd start getting the cough, or the proverbial frog-in-the-throat. Whenever I started worrying about paying the rent, my throat would go funny. Whenever I started discussing future plans, the throat would go, and I'd start to feel distinctly unwell.
It took weeks for the penny to drop, that I didn't just have a chest infection: God was trying to send me some important message, here, and if I wanted to start feeling better, I needed to try to work it out.
What's the message?
First, I talked to God about it all, and I got a little bit of clarity - but I could feel that I was still missing some big part of the subconscious picture.
So then, I did a TAT session focussing on the problem that I had a cough, and my throat was hurting.
Ten minutes later, I started to get a load of insights flooding up: the throat is directly connected to your self-expression, and your purpose in life. These are both areas that have been pretty challenging for me recently.
But that wasn't all. The throat is also the bridge between your intellect and your heart. When you're telling yourself that you believe something, or think a certain way, when you don't actually really believe it in your heart, one of the first places that dissonance affects is your throat.
So then I started asking God for a clue to show me: what ideas or beliefs was I paying lip-service to, that was affecting my throat so badly?
The throat is connected to self-expression
A few minutes later, I had an answer: I've been through a very challenging few years recently, including a failed business, massive financial issues that forced the sale of my home, and a move to a completely different city and environment.
Now, I'm picking up the pieces, and trying to move forward again.
I thought I'd dealt with all the massive challenges I'd had, and accepted that they were all for the best. And it's true, I had - but only in my head.
But in my heart?
There was a different vibe going on. In my heart, I was still feeling pretty traumatised, betrayed and distrustful. Somewhere deep, deep down, I realized that I don't trust God to come through for me, and to actually help me turn things around and start to build my life again.
Every time I was working on my new business, or writing my new book, a little internal voice was piping at me: "There's no point. It's just going to end in failure again. You're just wasting your time, doing this."
Mentally, I was trying to shut it up, and not pay any attention to it - which is why it was getting all 'stuck' in my throat.
Remember, your throat is connected to self-expression and sense of purpose.
Wow! Who knew?
Now, the question is what do you do with all that information? How do you resolve the gap between what you want to believe, and what you're actually feeling?
There's one answer, and only one answer: Ask God for help.
In the meantime, as soon as I got the message, my throat started to feel much, much better.
There may be more parts to the message, who knows. But I got the installment I needed to get for now, and also some insight into what they're really talking about, when they say that you need to 'cough things up'.
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