It’s a great feeling to finally feel yourself properly in the driving seat. You set the destination, you decide where you want to go and how and why, there’s no-one holding you back now, or ordering you around.
Which is when most people discover the next hurdle on the path: now they are starting to get some mental clarity, and a break from the backseat driver’s incessant instructions, nagging, small talk and general freak-outs about all things large and small, they find
they have no idea where they want to go. Or why. Or how they actually feel about the process of trying to get there.
It’s like that 17 year old who finally gets around to asking the cute girl out for a date, and after months of planning and hoping and waiting finds he has absolutely nothing to say to her when the big day comes around.
If you’re not prepared for this part of the journey, it can easily tip you head-over-heels and have you scrambling to invite the backseat driver back into the car again, so you can get past that panicked feeling of having no frigging clue about what you actually want to do in life, or how.
“Sure, I had all plans to drive down South and visit a bunch of cool canyons but now that I can actually just go right ahead and do, I’ve got cold feet. I’m not sure I want to spend a month of my time on a road-trip right now. I’m scared of what I’m going to find if I go. I’m even more scared of what I might come back to.
“Maybe, this emotional freedom is more hassle than it’s worth, and it’s easier to go back to just following orders and dreaming about freedom in theory…”
This is a really normal response, to that first taste of freedom.
That's why so many long-term prisoners baulk when they're finally released, and will do anything they can to get themselves back into jail as quickly as possible.
You’re being stampeded into a panic about what’s out there, and you’re probably also stressing about how you’re going to cope, and feeling pretty overwhelmed by all the things that you kind of relied on the backseat driver to take care of for you.
This is when it starts to dawn on you that kicking that guy out of the car was empowering, but maybe also the dumbest thing you ever did in your life. Because now there is no-one else to blame, there is nothing else to hide behind and the buck stops with you.
If you’re not prepared for that heady kick-back from your first real taste of freedom, it can knock you out cold. So many people turn tail and run when they’re finally given the key to open the door, and get out there a little, but that’s only because no-one ever told them that this feeling of overwhelming panic is just a stage.
If you sit quietly, and wait it out, it’ll pass. For some people, it may take a few minutes for the freak out to start to fade away, for others it may be more like a couple of hours, or a couple of days. But it won’t be more than that, and if you can get through this stage, you’ll be through maybe the biggest milestone on your quest for emotional freedom.
It’s like when you bring that cute puppy home from the pound in its plastic travel crate. The first time you open that box up, that cute critter is going to power out of there like Usain Bolt.
It’s going to run up the walls, wee in the corners and generally make you wish you’d just said ‘no’ to all the wheedling to get a dog.
Alternatively, it’ll push its way back, far, far back, against the wall of the carry crate, and not hell nor high water will get that animal to venture out into the wide open space of your yard. But just leave the door open, go about your business, and slowly but surely, he’ll start sniffing around and when he gets a little hungry, or he needs to attend to some present business, he’ll come out and make your acquaintance.
Whichever way your own internal ‘critter response’ is going to play out, trying to stuff the dog back in the box and shipping it straight back to the pound is not the answer.
You wanted that dog in your life because you wanted the benefit of getting your face all licked off when you open the door after a hard day’s hustle, and you wanted something warm and cuddly to hang out with and talk to. Maybe, you also wanted Buster in your life to give you a greater sense of security, and like someone, something, has got your back.
A dog can do a lot of good things for you. Persevering through those often difficult few days and weeks when you’re starting to get to know each other, and starting to figure out what each of you can bring to the relationship, and how best to relate to each other takes time and a lot of patience.
The same is true with your internal ‘critter response’. Those guys have been all boxed-up inside of you while the backseat driver’s been calling the shots for years. Now that you’re finally swinging the cage open, you can expect to feel messy and chaotic for a while, or panicked and all crumpled up at the back, scared to put a foot wrong.
But with a bit of coaxing, a bit of training, and a lot of patience, your critter response will turn around from crazy-making overwhelm, to giving you the best, most loyal and lickable best friend you ever had in your life.
Ok, let’s recap where we’ve got to so far on our road-map to real mental health:
1) There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with you. All of your problems are being caused by the backseat driver.
2) The backseat driver is working night and day to fill your heads with needless and frivolous confusions, doubts, worries, criticisms, worst-case scenarios that never happen and a general view of the world as bad, dangerous and nasty.
3) The backseat driver’s greatest achievement is convincing us that he is really us. He talks in our voice, he addresses us as himself, he uses our own phrases and foibles against us.
4) The true essence of a person is not defined by what job they do, where they live, how much money they make, who they love or who loves them, what they succeeded at, what they failed at, or what they look like.
5) A person’s true essence is made up of every thought, word and deed they actually put out into the world, both good and bad. We can only really know what our true essence actually was at the very end of the journey.
Now we have those ground rules set down, it’s time to take a look at what we can do to try to turf that backseat driver out of the car, or at least, to get him muffled enough of the time that we can actually start enjoying our lives a whole lot more. The first thing is to just start noticing he’s there.
Notice what chatter he’s filling with you head with when you pick up the phone to make a call:
“Uhoh, my mind’s gone blank. I’ve got nothing to say. I’m going to sound really stupid. They’re going to think I’m retarded. I can’t the words out properly.”
When you’re browsing in a store:
“That sweater is so pretty. But it’s costs a fortune. It probably won’t look so nice on my anyway. I’m just going to end up looking like some fat version of Taylor Swift if I try to fit into that. I wish my arm-flab didn’t jiggle so much. Man, my legs are so hairy, and I look like a guy. I need to take better care of myself. I can’t do it. I haven’t got the time to work out, I haven’t got the money to really buy the clothes that would suit me. Man, it’s really hot in here, I’m finding it hard to breathe…”
Little wonder you’re finding it hard to breathe in the store! You popped in to try on a sweater and now the backseat driver is having a field day finding more and more reasons why you should hate
yourself and how you look!
He also starts up when you’re trying to decide what new car, or new sofa you want to buy:
“The brown leather looks nice…but it’s scuff really easily…and start to look shabby after a year or two…but it’s got a 10 year guarantee and it’s from Italy so maybe that’s ok…but look at the price they are charging for that! I could buy two sofas for that…and if I make the wrong decision I’m going to have to live with it for years…and I’ll get so blamed if I pick a duff couch…and spend our hard-earned money on something that’s going to look bad so fast…but this company has a great reputation, and it’s got a 10 year guarantee…”
Round and round it goes for days, week, months and for some unfortunate individuals, even years.
Years of indecision, worry and guilt that they might ‘pick wrong’ and suffer the consequences for eternity.
See what that backseat driver is doing here? He’s turning everything into a ridiculously big deal. He’s blowing everything out of proportion and painting a picture of ‘reality’ that is anything but real.
The only way to really attain true inner peace is to stop paying attention to the backseat driver.
Try this: next time he starts up, asks yourself what you’d think if a real person came over to you and started telling you all this stuff. Do they sound balanced? Sane? Rational? Like someone you’d really want to pay attention to and take seriously?
This takes a bit of practice, and the main barrier to starting to put that much-needed distance between you and the backseat driver is to understand that he is not you. Where he came from and what he’s doing in your headspace we’ll get to a bit later on, but for now this is the main work to do:
Stop taking that backseat guy so seriously.
“If you take the next left, it will get you to the store 10 minutes faster…Hey, you’re revving too much, the engine can’t take it! The aircon is up to high I’m getting chilblains just sitting here…do you know how much gas that thing sucks out of the tank? This trip’s gonna end up costing you a fortune…You’re going to get stuck behind that tanker going uphill, you should indicate now and get into the middle lane…the cops usually park right behind that next bend with a speed-o-meter, hit the brakes so you don’t get fined…”
Few things are more irritating than having a back-seat driver along for the ride. There they sit, picking holes in your driving style, your sense of direction, even your choice of music. Ask the backseat driver why they do what they do, and they’ll tell you straight out: they’re just trying to be helpful. And they really believe it!
But going anywhere with a backseat driver is invariably exhausting and draining. They don’t shut up… they’re forever looking for one more thing to worry over, one more thing to criticize you about, one more way to make you feel small, stupid and entirely reliant on them and their superior advice and experience.
Backseat drivers take all the fun out of the journey.
Now, it’s hard enough to deal with a real-live person stuck in the back of your car trying to call all the shots and not giving you anytime or space to think things through for yourself in a calm, relaxed fashion. But there’s a big secret you should know about yourself: You’ve got a back-seat driver calling the shots in your own head 24 / 7 and you never get away from them.
And that’s not all. This backseat driver is so cunning, it’s managed to convince you that the person who’s doling out all the criticism, and worry, and doubt and harsh judgments about you and the rest of humanity is actually…you.
“I’m such an idiot! I can’t believe I forget to call the insurance guy to renew the policy on time. Now, I’m going to have to re-do all the paperwork from scratch, I’m so retarded!”
Or, try this:
“I can’t believe I was dumb enough to try to avoid paying the tax I owed. Now, I’m stressing about it all the time and I sit in the office convinced the IRS are going to burst through my door any minute and arrest me. They’ll splash the story all over the local press and my wife will divorce me…”
Or how about this:
“Man, why did I eat all those fries and pizza? I really feel like I’m going to throw up now! I’ve got no self-control, I can’t seem to get a grip on my life, I’m such a loser.”
He's convinced us that HE is really US!
Do you see what’s happening here? The backseat driver has us convinced that he is really us. He talks in our voice, he uses our catch-phrases, he knows all our secret fears and weaknesses, and he has absolutely no qualms about using them against us to get us to do what he wants.
And what is it that this internal back-seat driver really wants from us? In a word: control. He wants to control the way we see our lives, and the way we relate to other people, and the way we react to the different circumstances we get sent to deal with.
He wants to convince us that the world is full of bogey-man waiting to get us, and monsters under our bed who want to spirit us away to the netherworld, and nasty people who are just itching to kidnap our children and steal our lifesavings.
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking to yourself: “But isn’t that true? Isn’t that a rational opinion to hold, that the world is a dangerous place and home to milllions and even billions of psychos, derango-s and otherwise criminally insane, crazy people?”
Let’s be clear no-one is arguing with the idea that the world is full of loony-tunes. Everyone walking around on planet earth has got their own issues to deal with, and their own craziness to face down. But top of the crazy-making list is this:
People think that their backseat driver is really them.
That’s why they have ceded almost all their power, control and inner vitality over to that little crazy guy sitting behind them who is calling all the shots in their lives.
So what can we really do, to try to get rid of this pernicious backseat driver who seems to have opinions about everything and everyone, and who makes judgment calls 24/7 and doesn’t give us a moment’s peace and quiet, even (or maybe especially…) when we’re trying to settle down for the night?
Just as we’ve got into our favorite pair of pyjamas and started to drowse off over an interesting bit of bedtime reading and reached to turn the bedside light off - that’s when it starts reminding us that we forgot to hang the washing up, and it’s going black and moldy in the machine. Or that we forgot to respond to that niggly work email, and now all the endless possible responses are going to be cycling through our head, bothering us and stopping us from going to sleep all night long.
Let’s be clear that this crazy little backseat driving guy is really good at what he does, he’s an expert in keeping our heads too stuffed up with worries and problems and doubts and arguments and criticisms to really take a breath and to actually think.
But it’s time to turf him out of pole position, and to reclaim control of the vehicle once again
As the orthodox Jewish world seems to be hurtling towards encouraging more and more orthodox women and girls to start posting more pictures of themselves online and in other publications, I thought it would be timely to take a look at the links even the non-Jewish world is starting to flag up between so-called ‘selfie’ culture and a whole host of emotional issues and problems.
Let’s start with some scientific studies examining the huge impact ‘selfies’ is already having on young women’s self-esteem and body image.
Back in 2014, a Dr David Veale, a consultant psychiatrist at the South London and Maudsley NHS Trust and The Priory Hospital, started sounding the alarm that about the alarming link between the rise of ‘selfie culture’ and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Dr Veale said:
“Two out of three of all the patients who come to see me with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) since the rise of camera phones have a compulsion to repeatedly take and post selfies on social media sites.”
In 2016, researcher Katia Mifsud undertook a study for the University of Malta which found that respondents with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) were:
Before we continue, here’s a definition of what ‘Body Dysmorphic Disorder’ actually is:
Body dysmorphic disorder: A psychiatric disorder characterized by excessive preoccupation with imagined defects in physical appearance. It is classified as an anxiety disorder, and it is believed to be a variant of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Also known as somatoform disorder and dysmorphophobia.
As posting pictures online and ‘selfies’ has become de rigeur in the non-Jewish world, more and more people are falling prey to Body Dysmorphic Disorder, caught up in the overwhelming focus on ‘externals’ and ‘how they look’ instead of who they really are, as a person.
Is this really something we want to be promoting in the orthodox Jewish world for Jewish women and girls, under the banner of ‘progress and equality’?
Even the non-Jewish world is starting to realize there is a huge selfie-induced problem with people posting too many images of themselves online, and becoming overly-obsessed with their external appearance. This comes from the official BDD website:
Body Dysmorphic Disorder affects 1.7% to 2.4% of the general population — about 1 in 50 people. This means that more than 5 million people to about 7.5 million people in the United States alone have BDD. BDD is about as common as obsessive-compulsive disorder and more common than disorders such as anorexia nervosa and schizophrenia.
Again, we take all psych stats and statements with a huge pinch of salt, but we can still clearly see that there is a huge problem that's developed around BDD, and it's of fairly recent origin.
Let’s go back to the scientific studies, to see what else they are telling us about how social media is promoting some very unhealthy emotional attitudes to how people relate to themselves.
Dr Giuseppe Riva recently published a study called: ‘Risk and maintenance factors for young women’s DSM-5 eating disorders’. This study found that:
Self-objectification (thinking about and monitoring the body’s appearance from an external observer’s perspective) was the largest contributor to both Eating Disorder onset and maintenance.
To put this into plainer English, the more a young woman was focused on how her body appeared to other people, the higher her chances of developing an Eating Disorder in the first place, and also for her Eating Disorder-ed behavior to continue. In other comments that he made to VICE magazine (horrible name, but actually a really good article), Dr Riva explained how social media is promoting the problem of ‘self-objectification’. He said:
"This is particularly true for Snapchat and Instagram, which provide a mirror-like vision of young women, which is also altered and shared. This behavior supports the vision that a social body—self-objectified—is more relevant than the real felt body."
In case you don’t know how Instagram and Snapchat actually work (I didn’t until I started researching all this stuff) both apps let users retouch their snaps and selfies with a variety of filters. Spots and birthmarks can be erased, wrinkles retouched, even the shape of the face altered, to give your selfie that ‘perfect’ appearance.
Apparently, things are getting so bad with these apps that many users now refuse to have any picture taken that they can’t ‘retouch’ and make ‘perfect’ - which brings us on to the next mental illness selfies can feed in to: narcissism.
I’ve written so much about narcissism, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NDP) on spiritualselfhelp.org and in other places. The bottom line is that it’s learned behavior and can be unlearned (with an awful lot of effort, prayer and understanding of what’s really causing it and how.)
But there is no question that social media encourages people to behave in a very narrow-minded, self-aggrandising and un-empathetic way, all of which can fuel the fire of narcissistic traits, and turn the latent narcissistic ‘tendencies’ that we all have, to a greater of lesser degree, into a real problem.
This comes from an excellent article on the RAWHIDE website (which sadly has pictures of women in it, so I can’t link to their excellent infographic), but here’s their take on what they call ‘social media narcissism;”
Social media narcissism may be displayed through many of the following traits:
Again, this is an over-simplification of the real reasons why people want to post pictures of themselves online, and compulsively get attention from strangers and other people they don’t know based on how they look.
But the point is this: the whole social media / selfie culture that encourages both men and women to obsess over appearance instead of being concerned by substance, and that glorifies people’s looks over their personalities, abilities and deeds is clearly leading to some huge spikes in emotional and mental issues, including:
So why oh why would the orthodox Jewish world want to encourage our teens and women to start doing more of this stuff, and to start putting more emphasis on having pictures of themselves posted up all over the place?
The mind boggles.
So, for sure you’ve noticed how just about everyone you know, including yourself (if you’re honest…) is starting to exhibit some extreme mood swings and strong emotions, right? Here’s just a small selection of what I’ve heard and / or seen going on around me in the last little while:
One normally very calm, sweet and forgiving person told me they had such an uncharacteristic rage fit with a rude shopping assistant that they left the store shaking with anger, and it took them hours and hours to calm down again afterwards…
Another person snapped and violently attacked their spouse…
Another person got plunged into the biggest pit of despair and overwhelm about a problem that, yes is a problem, but not SUCH a big problem to merit such a enormous reaction…
Someone else got so overwhelmed by feelings of existential loneliness that they proposed marriage to someone they barely knew (thank God, the person turned them down…)
I could go on, but I’m sure you have your own examples of extreme, unusual reactions, decisions and behaviours going on all around you, and also inside you.
So what the heck is going on?!?
There’s a number of answers to this question, and the more spiritual answers you’ll find over on my other blog, at www.emunaroma.com. But on this blog, I try to concentrate on the more tangible explanations, or the visible processes that God is using to create a particular reaction or set of circumstances.
So what I think is going on, within that paradigm, is that the huge, unexplained body that’s currently in our solar system, and that goes by the various names of ‘Planet X’, ‘Nibiru’, ‘Kochav Yaacov’, or some other comet nomenclature is hugely affecting the bio-electrical structure of our planet - and the humans who live here.
(Again, I know this can sound pretty bizarre and ‘out there’ if you haven’t already been introduced to how the universe, world and human health actually really works, so if that’s you, you may want to take a look at these articles before you continue:)
We’re all kind of feeling ‘subliminally stressed’ at the moment, as our bio-electrical systems are being disrupted by the increased ions, protons, whatever they are in the atmosphere, that are part and parcel of what’s called the ‘solar wind’, or the energy that comes streaming in our direction from the sun.
If you take a look at THIS article, you’ll see how the universe really works, and is electrical in nature, and how when there’s a large comet / planet circling around our solar system, that causes the electrical activity between all the other bodies in the solar system, including the sun and planet earth, to go haywire.
So in a nutshell, the same phenomena that’s causing all these hurricanes in the US and the Caribbean (and even in the UK…), and unusually destructive wildfires all over the world, and massive earthquakes in Italy and Mexico, and floods in the Indian subcontinent, and exploding volcanoes in the ‘ring of fire’ in the Pacific, and also all the earthquake swarms being noted in the US and elsewhere - it’s also affecting us, you and me, on a micro level.
It’s making us feel increasingly ‘subliminally stressed’, which means we’re going into FIGHT-FLIGHT-FREEZE-FAWN mode without even realizing it, and that we have much less patience, generosity, kindness or self-awareness than usual.
We’re all walking around with hair-triggers, prepared to let anyone and everyone have it.
Why is God doing this?
Because He wants us to stop running away from our repressed negative emotions and bad character traits, and to actually acknowledge them and deal with them properly.
You, lady, have an anger issue! That’s why you keep sending out such atrocious emails to people, and commenting so acerbically on other people’s blogs.
You, sir, are sunk in despair and apathy! That’s why you drink so much and spend so much of your time glued to the telly, watching YouTube vids on your massive 50 inch screen.
You, madam, really hate and resent your parents, and you never, ever dealt with it! That’s why now, you find it so hard to enjoy your own family life, and you have a nervous breakdown every time another family get-together looms.
And so on and so forth.
But right now, God’s decided that we can’t run away from this stuff anymore. It’s time to look it squarely in the face, acknowledge the problems, and try to fix them.
And if we don’t do that, then at least in our lives, the ‘crazy days’ we’re experiencing are only going to come more furious, and more frequently.
The late Dr John Sarno, MD, was considered to be quite a maverick by the medical establishment. Over the last few decades of his life, his research and practice into the causes and cures of backache led him to the remarkable viewpoint that MOST of the body’s aches and pains were caused by EMOTIONAL ISSUES, and not physical wear-and-tear on the body.
Despite running a number of well-designed clinical trials which proved his thesis, and despite having thousands and thousands of ‘cured’ patients that the medical establishment had pretty much given up on, his peers in Western medicine still regarded Dr Sarno as something of a lunatic.
I mean, everyone knows that backaches (and hip aches, and neck aches and a few other things besides) only happen because of a physical cause or accident. The person strained themselves, stretched themselves, bent down funny, herniated a disk, wore-out a hip bone… Case closed, there’s nothing more to discuss.
Except…Western medicine is plain wrong on that score, as I’ve been going on about for years’ now, not least in a couple of my books: Talk to God and Fix Your Health: The Real Reasons Why We Get Sick and How to Stay Healthy, and How Your Emotions Are Making You Sick.
Chinese medicine and other reputable energy medicine practices like applied kinesiology have been making the link between ‘emotions’ and ‘physical health’ for millennia. But Western medicine, with its frankly lunatic need to see human beings as chemical compositions and bits of animated meat, has been so ‘anti’ the idea that a person’s emotions, or spiritual dimension, has anything to do with their physical health, that even medical doctors touting excellent research can’t really persuade them otherwise.
So, what is it that Dr Sarno actually says about it all?
(The best thing is to go and read one of his books, like ‘Healing back pain: the mind-body connection’, but let’s see if I can sum it up for you below).
CHRONIC BACK PAIN IS NOT USUALLY CAUSED BY STRUCTURAL PROBLEMS
First, he identified that in nearly all cases chronic back pain was NOT being caused by herniated disks, slipped disks, dissolving disks or other ‘structural’ issues. He discovered that in nearly all cases, a person’s back pain started up in response to some sort of notable stress, that got ‘somatized’ as back pain.
Somatization basically means that the human brain takes a big emotional pain that it doesn’t really want to deal with or face on the conscious level, and turns it into a physical pain instead.
He discovered that people were having massive attacks of debilitating back pain after having enormous problems at work, or in their marriages and families, or when someone they loved died, or when they were facing enormous financial issues, to name some of the most common reasons.
He also discovered that a particular type of person, one that he characterized as being ‘a worrier, overly-conscientious and responsible, compulsive and perfectionist’ was distinctly more prone to chronic and severe physical aches and pains.
But that still didn’t answer the question of HOW the body was transforming these ‘emotional pains’ into physical pains, which is the next question Dr Sarno set out to answer. He came up with what I’ll call a ‘Western Medical’ description of the problem, and identified a syndrome that he called Tension Myoneural Syndrome, or TMS for short.
He discovered that TMS could affect three different types of tissue:
He also discovered that most patients - 40% in one survey he conducted - believed that their chronic back pain began thanks to some sort of fall or physical accident that had happened a long time ago.
Sarno began to take issue with this belief, because as he notes in his book:
“Our body parts tend to heal very quickly when they are injured. Even the largest bone in the body, the femur, only takes six weeks to heal. And during that process, there is pain for only a very short time. It’s illogical to think that an injury that occurred two months ago might still be causing pain, not to mention one or two or ten years ago. And yet people have been so thoroughly indoctrinated with the idea of persistent injury that they accept it without question.”
So Sarno started to look for an alternative explanation for what was causing the feeling of pain. After many years of exploring the question, he came to the conclusion that oxygen deprivation and the autonomic nervous system (ANS) was at the root of the problem.
UNDERSTANDING THE AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (ANS)
The autonomic nervous system, or ANS, is controlled by the primitive part of the brain that is responsible for all of the body’s involuntary functions, like breathing, digestion, heart-rate, sleep and - yes you guessed it! - the fight / flight / freeze / fawn stress response that I like to write so much about here, on spiritual self-help.
Sarno realized that the ANS controls the body’s blood flow - with exquisite, detailed precision - increasing and decreasing the blood flow to whatever part of the body it wishes.
When a part of the body gets less blood flow than it should- something that’s called ischemia in Western medical parlance - it also gets less oxygen. When human tissue gets lets oxygen than it requires, that causes a whole bunch of physical symptoms like pain, numbness, tingling and weakness.
Sarno identified that repressed anger and repressed anxiety were the main emotions causing the ANS to pull the ‘oxygen deprivation’ stunt in the body (and it’s no coincidence that these are the main emotions traumatized people try to repress, as discussed in detail in other posts.)
WHAT TYPES OF PHYSICAL CONDITIONS COULD BE TRACED TO TMS / EMOTIONAL CAUSES?
Next, Sarno identified some of the most common ‘illnesses’ that he believed were also being caused by a TMS / oxygen deprivation response to emotional triggers. As well as straight-up ‘pain’, these also included:
He also identified a number of ‘diagnoses’ that were usually given by medical doctors to ‘explain’ much of the pain his patients were experiencing as a result of the emotional-based problem of TMS, including:
Herniated discs, pinched nerves, the Facet Syndrome, arthritis of the spine, transitional verterbra, spondylosis, spina bifida occulta, spondylolisthesis, scoliosis, osteoarthritis of the hip, chondromalacia, bone spurs, bursitis, tendonitis, coccydynia, neuroma, plantar fasciitis, mononeuritis multiplex, Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome (TMJ), inflammation, and soft tissue disorders including fibromyalgia (fibrositis, myofibrositis and myofasciitis).
Yes, these things may be observed in the body, but Sarno stressed again and again: this isn’t what’s causing the pain!!! The pain was coming from unresolved emotional issues that the brain was ‘hiding’ away as a physical pain problem via decreased blood flow / reduced oxygenation.
SO, WHAT’S THE CURE?
This next part of the story is my favorite bit. Sarno discovered that the main cure for his patients’ many forms of chronic pain was simply to understand that the unconscious mind was using them to ‘hide’ some sort of emotional pain, usually related to repressed anger and / or repressed anxiety.
In Sarno’s experience, even just two hours of ‘education’ about the emotional causes of their pain was enough to actually permanently ‘cure’ the problem - with the proviso that his patients HAD to believe in the diagnosis that the root of their pain was emotional, and not structural.
And his success rates were phenomenal!
In one study done in 1987 with a group of 109 patients who’d all been clearly diagnosed with ‘herniated disk’, 88 percent reported that they were ‘free, or nearly free of pain’ and enjoying unrestricted physical activity, 10 percent said they were ‘improved, with some pain, and some restricted activity’ and 2 per cent - the two that had the most severe and persistent psychological issues - reported no change.
WHY DOES JUST KNOWING THE PROBLEM IS EMOTIONAL CURE THE PAIN?
Sarno was of the view that the unconscious mind was using physical pain to ‘divert attention’ away from emotions that the person felt overwhelmed by, or didn’t want to face or acknowledge. As soon as the patient ‘blew the cover’ of the physical pain by accepting that it was caused by an emotional issue (usually repressed anger or repressed anxiety) - the body could no longer use the physical pain as a diversion tactic, so it quickly stopped doing it.
Again, his books are full of letters from the thousands and thousands of people who Sarno successfully treated with this approach, most of whom had completely exhausted every other avenue of help and relief.
THE LAST WORD: SURGERY AS A PLACEBO EFFECT
As a last word, I just wanted to mention Sarno’s conviction that most surgery for these conditions - when it worked - was simply because it was acting as a sort of ‘placebo’ affect for the patient.
He reported that while many of his patients experienced some sort of temporary relief from their original pain (in those cases where it actually worked), typically the pain or problem would resurface in some other area, as the unconscious mind continued its diversion tactics to keep the person away from painful and overwhelming negative emotions.
Again, there’s so much to say about this subject but for now, I recommend that people take a look at Dr Sarno’s books for themselves (and maybe also the two I authored, mentioned above) and next time they have one of the physical issues listed here, to take a deep breath and ask themselves:
What am I angry or anxious about, that maybe I'm finding it hard to admit?
The short answer is ‘yes’ - but only if you really get to grips with what is actually causing it, and understand what you have to do to overcome it.
There are many different types of psychological trauma that all of us experience all the time. If someone treats us cruelly, embarrasses us in public, steals from us, hurts us (physically, emotionally, financially, psychologically…) - all of these things can cause a psychological trauma to the person that’s experiencing them.
The intensity of that trauma will depend on the following main factors:
So, assuming the worst case scenarios across all categories - it was a repeated, deep hurt that was inflicted by someone very close to you, and it happened at a very inauspicious age in relation to the developing brain - HOW THE HECK DO YOU GET OVER IT?!?!?
The first thing to say is that the brain is plastic, and just as it was ‘trained’ or conditioned or wired to react in a traumatised fashion, it can be re-trained, re-conditioned and re-wired to start to act in a more helpful fashion.
Self-education is a very important part of this process, and I highly recommend the following books:
Pete Walker’s: Complex PTSD - from surviving to thriving - is a great, easy to read book that really sets things out very clearly, and gives a wealth of concrete advice and practical tips for HOW to start retraining your brain.
You can see his website here:
Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy
As a starting point, take a look at his 13 steps for managing flashbacks (which I ‘riffed’ on to do the following infographic:)
Another excellent book to read, although some people find it a little ‘scholarly’, is Bessel Van Der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score.
This article is a good introduction to the book’s main approach:
The lifelong cost of burying our traumatic experiences
The key thing to understand is that trauma changes the physiological processes in the brain, and causes people to become oversensitised, jumpy, ‘stressed out’, overwhelmed etc.
Trauma is often ‘stuck’ in the body, and has to be viscerally released, not just talked about endlessly for years in therapy.
I’ve pulled together a whole bunch of suggestions that tackle psychological trauma across all three levels of body, mind and soul on my website, and you can see that here:
c-ptsd 101: I've got c-ptsd! now what do i do to get rid of it?
But the short answer is that it CAN be overcome, once you know what actually caused it, how it’s really affecting you, and what types of things you really need to do to overcome it.
I’m taking a break from posting about ‘Electric People’, as I haven’t got time over the Summer holidays, with the kids home, to do all the research required for the next chapter. It will return soon, BH!
In the meantime, I just wanted to share what’s been going on with my eye, which kind of underlines why I started exploring a more ‘spiritual self-help’ approach to mental and physical health in the first place.
For as long as I can remember, conventional medicine just hasn’t worked for me. Whether it’s been big problems, smaller problems, whenever I’ve turned to a conventional doctor, they never really had a solution that resolved my problems - and not for lack of trying.
Up until a few years’ back, I dutifully did whatever the medical experts told me - and usually not only did it not help, there were occasions when it even made things worse.
That’s when I started going down the more ‘alternative’ route, and initially, being super-fanatical about the food I was eating made a huge difference…
But not all the difference. And over time, the same health issues reappeared again, regardless of whether I was eating my sprouted spelt bread and drinking a green smoothie every day.
That’s when I started to realize that something else is going on here, when it comes to human health.
If the ‘problem’, whatever it is, is really only at the body level of a person - that they’re aren’t sleeping enough or eating enough vits, etc - then doing things at the ‘body’ level will resolve the problem.
It should be noted here that conventional medicine ONLY deals with health issues - bizarrely, even emotional and mental health issues - at the level of the body, and often in such a clumsy way, their ‘solution’ can end up causing more damage than the original problem.
But there are two more stages of the human experience that also profoundly impact our health, too, namely our mind, mental state and emotions, and our soul, or spiritual connection to God.
If ‘the health problem’, whatever it is, is actually rooted in either the mental / emotional or spiritual realms, then just tackling it at the level of the body simply isn’t going to work.
And that’s why conventional medicine really doesn’t work for me. Now that I eat well enough, and I exercise enough, and I sleep enough, there’s really nothing else to do on that front. All my health issues - yes, I’m talking about my physical health issues here - are rooted in negative states of mind, unhelpful subconscious processes and spiritual unfinished business.
No pill is going to help me get over the anger that’s causing my inner tension, headaches and eye strain.
Only changing my attitudes and behaviors (with a little help from God…), and really understanding why I’m angry in the first place, can do that.
Again, if the problem is rooted in the physical realm, then a physical response or medication will help to clear it up. But if it isn’t, or if some of the problem at least is rooted in mental / emotional and / or spiritual stuff, then taking a solely physical approach simply isn’t going to work to curing it.
And that’s why conventional medicine really doesn’t work for me - and that’s also why it’s increasingly not working for a whole bunch of other people, too.
Let’s jump forward half a century to 1958, when a young orthodopaedic surgeon in the US called Robert Becker started experimenting with salamander limbs and electrical currents, trying to figure out what role, if any, an electric current played in the regeneration and mending of bones.
Becker chose to experiment on salamanders because it was almost as physically complicated as a human being, yet had an amazing ability lacking in other mammals to spontaneously regenerate a severed limb.
Becker was exploring ‘what’, biologically-speaking, organized the growth of this new limb, and how the blastema - a little ball of undifferentiated cells that can turn into any other cell - knew what to do.
WHAT ORGANISES CELLS TO BECOME A PERSON OR CREATURE?
It was the same question, phrased in different words, that had the embryologists stumped, too: what was organizing the undifferentiated cells? What was controlling their development and corralling the process of regeneration?
Earlier on, in the 1930s, Paul Weiss floated the theory that the body had some sort of intangible ‘morphogenetic field’ that held the blueprint of what the body would become. The idea didn’t get very far in more traditional scientific circles, so by the time Becker came on the scene, no real progress had been made to try find if such a field actually existed, and if it did, how it actually stimulated undifferentiated cells to switch particular genes on and off.
Becker had his work cut out for him, not least because the overwhelmingly ‘mechanist’ view of medicine was shooting down any ideas that had even a whiff of belonging to the vitalist view point of life.
Becker writes: “When I started out, it was very dangerous for one’s career even to suggest that mature cells might create the blastema by de-differentiation.”
The idea that some cells in a mature, complex vertebrate could revert completely to their primitive, ‘undifferentiated’ state, and then turn into a regenerated limb, for example, turned orthodox ideas about how the human body works on its head.
Yet amazingly, that’s what Becker’s subsequent experiments proved conclusively.
THE CURRENT OF INJURY
Becker began by reviewing the work of Russian biophysicist, A.M. Sinyukhin, whose work with tomato plants turned up what came to be called a ‘current of injury’. Sinyukhin cut branches off tomato plants, and then measured what was happening electrically near the place of the ‘wound’.
Over the first few days after the injury, a stream of electrons that formed a negative current flowed from the wound. The same thing happens to wounds in animals, too. In the second week, as a ‘scab’ formed on the wound and a new branch started to grow, the current reversed polarity to become positive, and became stronger.
As the positive current increased, the tomato plant’s cells at the site of the wound more than doubled their metabolic rate, became more acidic, and started producing more Vitamin C.
Sinyukhin’s experiments proved some very important principles:
1) That a change in the electrical current seemed to be linked to regeneration
2) The electrical current that initiated these changes was tiny - between 2 - 3 amperes.
Armed with this information, Becker started experimenting on salamanders (that can regenerate limbs) and bullfrogs (that can’t regenerate limbs).
AMAZING THINGS BECKER LEARNED ABOUT THE ELECTRICAL PROPERTIES OF THE BODY
Amongst other things, Becker’s experiments showed that:
Becker found that the body’s electrical field mapped to the body’s nervous system, with the head and spinal region being strongly positive. He also found that the body’s tiny DC current controlled the way nerves worked in the brain, as well as the rest of the body, including regulating states of consciousness.
“Redifferentiation instructions are passed along a tissue arc whose main element is the circuit already established between nerves and epidermis….The direction (polarity) plus the magnitude and force (amperage and voltage) of current could serve as a vector system giving distinct values for every area of the body. The electric field surrounding continuously charged and diminished with the distance from the nerve would provide a third coordinate, giving each cell a slightly different electrical potential…A magnetic field must exist around the current flow…adding a fourth dimension to the system. Together, these values might suffice to pinpoint any cell in the body.”
The idea is that these electric and magnetic fields could affect the charged cell membrane’s “‘choice’ of what ions to absorb, reject or expel’ - or to put it another way, could sway which genes gets switched on or off in every particular cell, together with the associated chemical changes.
“ELECTRICAL FORCES TURN THE KEY THAT UNLOCK THE REPRESSED GENES”
In theory, Becker’s experiments proved that an electrical current was ‘the primary stimulus that began the regenerative process, and that it could operate in mammals.’ But then he hit the next problem: there weren’t enough electrically-sensitive cells in human bone marrow to make enough a big enough blastema to regenerate a limb in a human. So Becker turned his attention to trying to find a way of making other cells in the human body ‘electrically sensitive’, so that they could also dediffentiate when a tiny current of electricity was applied.
SILVER IONS KILL ALL TYPES OF BACTERIA WITHOUT SIDE-EFFECTS
Becker discovered that using a silver electrode ‘at the positive pole killed or deactivated every type of bacteria without side-effects, even with very low currents.’ But that wasn’t even the only amazing thing he discovered. He also learnt that a positive silver electrode ‘dedifferentiates connective tissue cells’, called fibroblasts.
What 'positively charged' silver ions was proven to do:
NOT ALL CELLS IN THE HUMAN BODY CAN DEDIFFERENTIATE
Not all cells in the human body can dedifferentiate. The following cells were all dediffentiated in response to electrical stimulus by Becker and his team:
The right amount of electrical current has to be aimed at the right type of cells for de-differentiation to occur.
THE BODY'S BIO-ELECTRICITY IS FLOWING THROUGH THE PERINEURAL CELLS
It’s now believed that the body’s current flows through the perineural cells. Perineural cells is a catch-all description for many different types of cell that surround every nerve cell like a kind of ‘sheath’, and which account for 90% of the human brain.
The neuron is the basic unit of all nervous sytems. Nerves are how different parts of the body communicate. The whole neuron is ‘wrapped’ in different sorts of perineural cells. The different types of perineural cells in the brain are called ‘glia’. Schwann cells ‘wrap’ the axons and dendrites of the neural cells in the spinal cord.
Schwann cells form a sort of tube made up of spiraling layers of myelin around the largest fibers. Ependymal cells line the four brain cavities, or ventricles of the brain, and also the central canal of the spinal cord.
Perineural cells play a big role in getting nutrients to the neurons, in controlling the diffusion of ions which in turn effects impulse firing, in memory, and in conducting the direct currents that ‘regenerate’ different parts of the body.
Becker discovered all these things more than 35 years’ ago, back in the 1980s. But instead of eagerly starting more research into these findings, to see how they could be safely applied to improving human health - his funding was pulled, and his small lab was disbanded, due to lack of funds and political pressure.
We can't find a 'cure' for cancer, and other serious illnesses for as long as we continue to look in the wrong places for it.
One of the things that I’ve often been asked - and sometimes also criticized about - is why I write so openly on my websites about my own personal struggles.
There have been many answers to this question over the years, but the one I currently like the most is described very nicely in Pete Walker’s excellent book: C-PTSD: from surviving to thriving. There, Pete writes the following:
“A central aspect of the truly helpful relational work was what John Bradshaw calls ‘healing the shame that binds’. I believe toxic shame cannot be healed without some relational help. Several therapists and groups aided me greatly to unbind from the shame that made me hide whenever I couldn’t invoke my perfect persona.
“Concurrently, I learned that real intimacy correlated with the amount I shared my vulnerabilities. As I increasingly practiced emotional authenticity, the glacier of my lifelong loneliness began to melt.”
As Pete Walker encapsulates so nicely, when you’re walking around trying to pretend that you’re ‘perfect’, or always 100% put-together, or always have the answers, or the faith that you’re meant to have, you end up feeling so very lonely on the inside.
Because you aren’t being REAL.
Even if you’re surrounded by millions of friends, and have a fulfilling career, and a big family etc etc, if you can’t be REAL (at least for a lot of the time) - then you will feel like the loneliest person on the planet.
Traumatized people often find it very difficult to let their guards down and be REAL, because they’ve usually experienced so much mockery, criticism, and lack of acceptance. When you grow up in a traumatizing environment, it’s safer to hide your flaws and struggles behind a big wall of aggressive perfectionism than to risk being made to feel awful because you aren’t always perfect, all the time.
Like it or not, Western society promotes and glorifies shaming other people in the cruelest of ways. I think mocking other people has taken the place of the gladiator sports that were so popular in ancient Rome, except now we cut people’s heads off with blog comments, ‘jokes’ and Facebook posts instead of swords and spears.
It’s understandable that so many people dive for cover in the face of this very unhealthy mode of interacting with others. It’s very, very hard to maintain ‘real’ around cruel, superficial, hyper-critical people.
(If you’re wondering how I deal with that myself, the short answer is that I try to avoid these people as much as possible, because otherwise they drive me completely bonkers and push me back into ‘feeling ashamed’ flashbacks within a nanosecond.)
But not everyone is like that. I’m learning the more I go along that there are some amazing people out there, who value and cherish real interactions. I think there are probably a lot more of us than is sometimes obvious, because as I mentioned, a lot of us hide our ‘real’ self away to avoid being attacked and mocked by the psychos.
And that’s one very big reason why I try to write ‘real’, as much as possible, because the more real I can be, the more those other people will also start to feel safe to express their own brand of ‘real’ in the world.
Yes, it would definitely be easier to write from a place of having a ‘perfect persona’ a lot of the time. I’d probably ‘fit’ into more people’s boxes a little easier, and stop pressing buttons in very repressed individuals who find honesty dangerous. I also wouldn’t open myself up to people thinking ‘less’ of me because I’m not perfect after all.
But you know what? The path of pretend perfection kills the soul. So I could end up looking like I was doing better from the outside (maybe…) but I guarantee I’d be feeling a whole lot worse. And a whole lot lonelier. A whole lot more like I didn’t really ‘fit’ anywhere in the world.
Being real is risky sometimes. Being real can sometimes alienate people who aren’t ‘real’ themselves, and who find it far too overwhelming to deal with. Being real means there’s no-where to hide when your flaws and negative character traits come roaring out at you.
But being real is also the way to truly forge deep connections to other people, and to God, and to ourselves. And if that’s the only benefit you get from being real (and I don’t think it is), it’s more than worth it.