The key to dealing with the 'backseat driver' is to understand how it actually operates.
The backseat driver:
- never stops talking
- doesn’t give you a moment to relax, digest, contemplate
- encourages you to spend as much time as possible checking pointless stuff out on your mobile phone
- plays both sides of the equation [like egging you on to 'speak your mind' about an issue, and rationalizes why it's actually good and correct for you to spew poison at other people, and then puts the boot in once you've actually done that, and makes you feel really bad and ashamed of how you just acted.]
- makes you feel ucky
- makes you feel like you can’t do without him.
- is a worry wort - as soon as you deal with one issue, and safely put it to bed, it throws up the next one to panic you about.
This probably sounds all to familiar, because all of us have to deal with the 'backseat driver' to some degree or another, and this is the way it operates for all of us. So for now, don't stress that you've got a huge issue that can never be fixed. It can, but first, we’re just here noticing the problem.
Here's some other stuff that the backseat driver does:
Really? Out outlook is what is shaping this reality, and not the other way round. But by controlling the way we process our experiences, and by filtering all of our experiences through it's own, warped lens, the backseat driver reinforces its version of reality, and maintains it's control over us.
But guess what:
That crazy little guy isn’t really us! And it's not really giving us a true picture of reality.
So then the question begs to be asked: who are we, really?
Let’s find out.
A few years’ ago, God did me a very big favor. Every time I was around someone with a very complicated inner landscape, my eyes would go funny.
The first few times it happened, I freaked out and started panicking that I’d developed some horrible disease that was going to leave my partially sighted, God-forbid, or worse. But then, after this had been going on for a few months, and after I’d been talking to God about it a lot, I suddenly got the insight that my eyes would only go funny around particular people, or in particular circumstances.
One of those people was my husband, so figuring out what was going on become a big imperative.
After many more months of pondering it, praying on it, thinking about it, I managed to narrow down ‘funny eye syndrome’ a bit more, and to realize that it would happen whenever I was around people who were suppressing strong, negative emotions.
By suppressing, I don’t mean that they knew what they were feeling, consciously, and were gritting their teeth, or keeping a stiff upper lip, although clearly that also would sometimes occur.
I mean that these negative emotions were so buried, so hidden - even from the person themselves! - that they had absolutely no idea what sort of tremendously powerful emotional vibes they were actually sending out into the atmosphere.
That was being soaked up by yours truly and making my eyes go funny.
Releasing the pressure
Over time, I figured out that the single best way to cure my funny eyes was by helping the person I was talking with to really acknowledge their deeper, nearly always extremely negative, true feelings.
This is so much easier said than done, as most people who make my eyes go funny are suffering from something called alexithymia, or an inability to really describe or get a handle on their feelings. This usually happens because a kid isn’t really ‘seen’ in their childhood by an emotionally-absent parent.
So when they get upset, or scared, or anxious, or concerned, there is no caring adult around to notice what’s going on with them, and to give them the word, the label, they need to shrink their huge feeling down into language, and make it manageable.
So then, these individuals grow up, and a fuzzy sense of frustration (that they would never think to label ‘anger’) is really the only feeling that can or will admit to experiencing.
But if you could rip the scab off that ‘frustration’, then a whole bunch of seething, immature, enormous negative emotions would come bubbling out. If that sounds like a scary prospect, you are now starting to understand why so many people who find it hard to relate to their negative emotions are so scared of anyone getting anywhere near close enough to prise off the ‘frustration’ lid.
Because a volcano is lurking underneath.
Sadly for me, or luckily for me, depending on how you look at it, pretending that nothing was really happening underneath got very, very hard when my eyes would suddenly go completely weird mid-conversation.
Someone would be telling me what they had for breakfast, or about their upcoming trip to the US to visit family, or about their kid’s new school, or they’re new job - and whammo, my eyes would de-focus and I’d be left squinting around, completely perplexed as to what was going on and thinking big thoughts about serious vitamin deficiencies.
Until I figured this out.
Which is when I realized that God had actually given me a secret back route into instantly figuring where the emotional body was buried, so to speak. Because a person can swear until they’re blue in the face that they’ve made their peace with so-and-so, or don’t care about such-and-such, or completely past whatever it is - but if my eyes have gone funny, I know they are lying.
Especially to themselves.
This is useful with husbands, but not so useful with everyone else
Now, with husbands this is actually a pretty wonderful, helpful thing, as thanks to the funny eyes, we’ve got to the bottom of so many issues that we probably never would have, otherwise.
But with other people? Well, it’s made things pretty complicated. And it’s a big part of the reason I got so anti-social for a while, because for the life of me I couldn’t work out how I was meant to be reacting when someone would be telling me about their wonderful family celebration, or how much they really wanted to just settle down with someone (when the exact opposite was true) while my ‘funny eyes’ would erupt off the Richter scale.
If a person isn’t telling themselves the truth about a particular situation, woe betide the person who is dumb enough to try to step in and deliver the message the other person is trying so hard to ignore and avoid.
I learnt the hard way that you can’t fix people with ‘the truth’, and if you try, you are only going to get your head completely blown off. And you probably deserve it.
So, for a long stretch of time it’s been easier to keep things superficial with most people for most of the time, because in 2018, so many people are dealing with huge negative emotions that they’re repressing, without even realizing what’s going on.
Why am I sharing this with you?
Because I have the feeling that the more you start to get in touch with your own real self, and the more you try to work through your own enormous, deeply-buried negative feelings, the more you’ll also start to notice how certain people, certain conversations, set you off, too.
Maybe, your eyes won’t go funny, but you might find your breathing goes a bit weird, or that your heart starts beating too fast, or you suddenly feel horribly hot and suffocated, or weak and faint, or your hands suddenly go ice-cold.
Pay attention to those clues that God is sending you, especially if they’re popping up around a spouse or a kid.
Because those people, you probably can help, if you take a deep breath and prepare yourself mentally to face down an internal volcano of huge, suppressed feelings.
But everyone else, you probably can’t.
So the best bet is then just to smile and nod politely, and quickly change the subject.
So honestly, you could call this post the 500 billion big lies that evolutionists like to tell to back up their completely unscientific ‘theory’ of evolution, but let’s stick to seven for now, so I can get this written before I mutate (in another 4 billion years…) into something that can’t type.
BIG LIE NUMBER 1: MACRO EVOLUTION OCCURS OVER BILLIONS OF YEARS
This is the idea that 'given time', an amoeba could randomly turn into a monkey.
It would take trillions and trillions of years before an amoeba could 'randomly' turn into a monkey, or a fully-sentient human being - if it could even happen at all, because nearly all 'random' mutations aren't beneficial to the organism (think cancer) and cause the organism's death.
Pioneering molecular biologist Douglas Axe recently proved conclusively that the amount of time it would actually take for even one of Darwin’s ‘happy evolutionary coincidences’ to occur was a number so big, it’s practically impossible. The world simply isn’t old enough for all the millions of evolutionary tweaks that could turn an amoeba into anything remotely similar to a biped - or even something more modest, like an earthworm or fruit-fly.[i]
Again, to be clear: Axe’s research on folding proteins showed conclusively that 4.5 billion years is not long enough for an amoeba to turn into a fruit-fly, let alone a human being.
This point by itself is enough to show the ‘theory’ of evolution is complete baloney.
Read on for a connected big lie.
BIG LIE NUMBER 2: DNA ‘PROVES’ EVOLUTION
If you pick up a copy of: Signature in the cell: DNA and the evidence for intelligent life, written by Professor Stephen Meyer, PHD, he reviews many origin of life theories, specifically relating to DNA and RNA.
“Meyer dissects each of these theories, the end result for nearly all of these ideas is that they are based on certain amounts of specified information existing as a premise for the subsequent parts of the theory to function, in other words they do not explain or solve the problem of where biological information comes from, but simply displace the problem.
BIG LIE NUMBER THREE: TRANSITIONAL FOSSILS SHOW EVOLUTION
In all my searching for these mythical ‘transitional fossils’ that ‘prove’ evolution, I’ve come up with precisely one example given: a reptile with turtle-type features.
And if you’re a keen observer, you’ll notice that this is backwards as according to evolutionists, sea creatures ‘evolved’ into land creatures and not the other way around.
Here’s what the REAL SCIENCE says about transitional fossils:
“It is not even possible to make a caricature of evolution out of paleobiological facts. The fossil material is now so complete that the lack of transitional series cannot be explained by the scarcity of the material. The deficiencies are real, they are never going to be filled.” - Professor N. Heribert-Nilsson of Lund University, Sweden, summing up his 40 years of work on the subject in his book: Synthetische Artbildung:
BIG LIE NUMBER 4: VESTIGIAL TRAITS
This is the idea that a human appendix is a ‘throw back’ to when they were a monkey, or something.
Most of what arrogant western doctors consider to be ‘vestigial’ organs actually do have a use in the human body, just they haven’t yet figured it out, because they don’t know everything about human health.
Take a look at this article: Your Appendix is Useful After All as one example, but tonsils - another one of the ‘vestigial traits’ often quoted by evolutionists - are also part of the immune system and serve an important function in the body.
BIG LIE NUMBER 5: EARLY EMBRYO DEVELOPMENT ‘PROVES’ EVOLUTION
This is the idea that humans used to be fish / monkeys etc because the embryo goes through a stage of looking like these creatures as it grows in the womb.
Ernst Haeckel, a German biologist, was the first person who proposed this idea, and even did a very nice text book showing how it occurred.
There was just one problem: Haeckel blatantly faked many of his diagrams and falsified his ‘science’, something that he only admitted to many, many years later, after his theory had gained mainstream acceptance as being ‘scientifically proven’.
Yet more than 100 years later, Haeckel’s fraudulence is still being proffered by evolutionists as ‘scientific proof’ that their theory is correct.
BIG LIE NUMBER 6: MICRO EVOLUTION SOMEHOW ‘PROVES’ MACRO EVOLUTION
This is the idea that because a creature, a human, can be ‘conditioned’ by their environment and experiences to change their behavior of certain minor facets of their appearance within a lifetime, or over the very short time - what’s known as MICRO EVOLUTION - this somehow ‘proves’ that an amoeba can turn into a dog, and a monkey into a human, over the (impossibly….) long term.
Again, there is ZERO scientific evidence for this.
This is completely an article of faith, much more akin to a religious belief than a scientific proof of anything.
Please see BIG LIES 1 & 2, above, which show that ACCORDING TO REAL SCIENCE, the probability of the world being old enough to enable all these random beneficial changes to occur is ZERO.
BIG LIE NUMBER 7: COMPUTERS CAN SIMULATE EVOLUTION
That this is even something evolutionists claim as ‘proof’ of evolution is, well, sad.
It stands to reason that computer programmes are based on a whole bunch of ASSUMPTIONS made by the people creating them.
If those assumptions are false, whatever is being ‘simulated’ is also based on falsehood.
It’s a total non-argument for anyone who doesn’t have a religious belief in evolution.
TO SUM THIS UP:
There is so much more to say about this. All the stuff I’m putting up here about Carbon Dating 14 and other radiometric ‘dating’ methods being based on very faulty assumptions; and the ‘belief’ in Lyell’s principle of uniformity (which is another scientific ‘belief’ that doesn’t have a shred of scientific evidence backing it up) also clearly shows that the age of the world is not as the scientists would have you believe.
Why does the world need to be so old?
Because evolutionists need trillions of years to make their theories credible.
But the world is NOT trillions of years old, and even going by the assumption that it’s 4.5 billion (sic) years old, that’s still no-where near the amount of time it would be required for evolution to be a credible theory.
For anyone who isn’t religious about evolution, this should really be case closed.
In the Jewish tradition, after a close relative dies and is buried, you are meant to sit seven days of ‘shiva’ (from the Hebrew verb leyshev, to sit) - i.e. to mourn them formally for seven days.
Even in the most optimal circumstances, sitting shiva for a close relative is usually a very draining experience. But when you have to factor in unexpected deaths, frantic last minute plane rides to a different country, difficulties finding somewhere to sleep, and problems finding nourishing kosher food to eat into the equation - plus the vague unease of leaving your young teenage kids alone at home, in a completely different country - that all adds up to an enormously stressful equation.
And then there’s the other stressful parts of dealing with a close relative’s death, including sorting out their estate, dealing with other ‘difficult characters’ in the family who could snap at any moment and cut a huge swathe of dramatic discord through the whole proceedings, and (if you’re sitting shiva in the UK…) having to make four thousand cups of tea a day for all the people coming to ‘comfort’ you.
So all in all, sitting shiva for most people is actually a very difficult, traumatic experience, even in the most optimal circumstances where friends and family are caring for you, you can eat the food, you can sleep, and all your immediate family is in the same country.
After four days of sitting what I think of as ‘shiva on speed’ for my late mother-in-law in the UK, I got back to Israel late Thursday night with my husband, and felt like I was completely blank. The next day was Yom Kippur, the most important day of the year where Jews fast for 25 hours and pray that God will grant us a good, healthy, blessed year.
This year, I was so exhausted I spent most of the day knocked out in bed, and when I did pray, it was to ask God to please excuse my lack of praying - or anything Yom Kippur related - and to please give me a good year, anyway.
I was hoping to feel a bit perkier by the end of Yom Kippur, but if anything, I actually felt even more out of it and kind of empty-feeling. I could have just sat for hours on the couch without a thought in my head, completely oblivious to the world.
This is not ‘normal’ behavior for me at all, so I started to get a bit worried about it all. Until my husband reminded me that after all the stress I’d just gone through, I’d probably fried out my adrenals and needed at least a week just to process it all, before I could move on.
“There’s been so much going on, you need to just sit for a while and absorb it all,” he told me. “Once you’ve done that, you’ll get your energy and pep back, don’t worry.”
THE IMPORTANCE OF DOWN TIME
I felt very comforted by what he said, because I know he’s right. My job right now is to have some down time - even a lot of down time - to recuperate mentally and physically from the ‘shiva on speed’.
In the old days, people just weren’t able to grab last minute flights to the end of the earth to spend these fraught moments with their loved ones. On the one hand, they probably didn’t get the same closure, but they also didn’t come back from their experiences feeling more than half dead themselves.
As so often in the modern world, the ‘up’ we get from being able to do all these things comes packaged together with a mighty big ‘down’.
But I’m quite lucky, as at least I don’t have to get back to my day job, or report back into work this week. Honestly, I’m going to be out of action for at least another week - and it wasn’t even my close relative!
When people feel obliged to rush back to work so quickly after these stupendous events occur in their lives, I can’t help but think it’s storing up a huge amount of trouble for them further on down the line.
We need time to think, to process, to decompress, to grieve. That’s what the shiva itself is actually for, but in our modern world, even that process can be warped around in to some sort of ‘bereavement party’ where you just find yourself entertaining hundreds of people and making small talk, instead of sitting and crying out your heart’s secret pain.
YOU CAN'T RUSH THE GRIEVING PROCESS
So the moral of the story is, when these big things happen in your life, don’t buy into the modern world’s warped value system that tells you two weeks - MAXIMUM!!! - is enough to get over the death of a close relative, or the other massive shocks to the system that we periodically experience.
Rushing these processes only causes untold damage in the long term, because grief is not a linear emotion, and properly saying goodbye in all the myriad small ways we have to, really can and does take months.
If you feel exhausted after a very stressful experience in your life, understand that’s your body’s way of telling you to stay in the slow lane for a while, and to not rush back to ‘normal’. It’s hard sometimes to take that hint, but I know for myself that if I force matters and try to return to ‘business as usual’ too soon, it’s only going to lead to me getting wiped out for weeks, instead of a few days.
So if you’ve just had a massive shock, take a deep breath, keep your out of office on for a few more days, and give yourself, your body and your psyche the time they all really need to recover, regroup, and move on.
One of the things that critics of energy medicine, and proponents of Western medicine, like to argue VERY LOUDLY is that there’s no scientific basis for energy, or ‘electro-magnetic’ medicine.
This is wrong on a number of counts, but the first thing to say that cannot be overstressed is that every piece of interesting research stretching back 100 years that does appear to prove the electro-magnetic basis of biology and human health has been completely ignored by the medical establishment - at best.
At worst, because electro-magnetic medicine appears to be so fundamentally challenging to people raised with molecular biology as the last word, many of these more open-minded scientific researchers have also had their reputations soundly trashed, for coming up with facts and research that challenges the existing paradigm.
And yet, some brave souls continue to research the subject, (particularly in the former Soviet countries, were the bias against electro-medicine never took hold) and more and more of them are contributing some stunning information to the picture of how human health actually works.
One such researcher is Abraham Liboff, PhD, a physics professor at Oakland University. In a research paper called ‘Toward an Electromagnetic Paradigm for Biology and Medicine’, written in 2004, Liboff wrote that:
“Simply stated, it’s possible to view the living system as an electromagnetic entity, with the response of the system to a given electric or magnetic signal as an outcome expected on the basis of physical law. The familiar hormonal and enzymatic effects [that are the basis of Western medicine and molecular biology] still occur, but in this new approach these are merely associated changes in the system.”
(Don’t worry, I’ll sum everything up in plain English in a minute. But it’s important to see this stuff in situ.)
Liboff then continues:
“There are likely no more than four types of forces in the universe, one of which is the gravitational and another the electro-magnetic…the electro-magnetic force is the underlying reason for life…life is an interactive assembly of polymers.”
And then, he identifies what could be called the ‘electro-magnetic’ sequence of life:
“One merely has to consider the sequence of increasingly complex systems, each necessitated by the existence of the electromagnetic force, a sequence that leads directly to life: electrons, hadrons, atoms, molecules, polymers, living things.”
The last thing to take from Liboff, from now, is his statement that:
“The organization of organisms may be electrically mediated….The gestalt of the body’s physiological state - homeostasis, metabolic turnover, respiration, enzymatic rates - is no more than an intertwined system that can be represented by a single electro-magnetic field.”
There’s plenty more to say on this issue (and I’m planning to bring more of the hard science to share with you, here on the blog) - but you can sum up what Professor Liboff is telling us like this:
You can read more of Abraham Liboff’s research at Reseach Gate, HERE.
One of the more curious things with the internet and all the stuff that comes with it, like i-Phones, Youtube, Facebook et al is that while the research I’m presenting here on spiritualselfhelp.org clearly suggests that the electromagnetic frequencies that this technology is operating on must have a direct, deleterious impact on the user’s mental and physical health, there is precious little official evidence that suggests that’s the case.
Or so it looks at first glance.
But if you start to dig a little deeper, and cast the net for research a little wider into countries like China, South Korea and Taiwan, you quickly find that there is actually a mountain of evidence that’s already accumulating around what’s now being termed ‘Internet Addiction Disorder’, or IAD for short.
Now, if you’re a regular reader of this site, you’ll already know that I really don’t buy in to all the ‘disorders’ and mental illness labels the psychiatric establishment is so fond of pasting on to everyone.
The basis of all mental illness is a fight-flight-freeze-fawn stress response that’s got stuck, or stuck in permanent ‘on’ mode, typically due to some sort of chronic or massively acute trauma and / or neglect that was experienced in childhood.
THE BRAIN IS PLASTIC
The brain is plastic, and just as it was ‘trained’ by the traumatic experiences to start reacting in an unhelpful ‘mentally-ill’ way, it can be retrained via self-awareness, self-education, selc-compassion and a whole load of prayer to start operating again in a much healthier fashion.
But what the preliminary research from Internet Addiction Disorder appears to be showing is a couple of very disturbing things:
1) People with pre-existing issues like feelings of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem (aka ‘toxic shame’) and difficult interpersonal relationships are much more drawn to excessive internet use to boost their mood, escape from their problems, and ‘ease their pain’ - in exactly the same way you’d use any other substance or addictive past-time, like gambling, for example.
2) Being online all itself is also causing people to feel far more depressed / anxious / yucky / socially disordered / hostile, and is literally training the brain to re-act in ‘mentally ill’ ways that stimulate the more dysfunctional ‘primitive’ parts of the brain - and cut a person off from the types of activity that will strengthen their frontal lobes.
If you forgot why healthy, frequently-used frontal lobes are crucial for good mental health, here’s a quick infographic to remind you:
The long and short of it is, the more time a person spends online, the less time they have to devote to the sort of self-nurturing, self-developing activities described on the infographic, that will strengthen their frontal lobes and start to tame the more primitive parts of the brain responsible for an out-of-control stress response and addictions.
Even more strangely, is that while Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) is getting so much attention amongst health professionals that a whole group of them were pushing to have it included in the latest DSM 5, the Western governments are surprisingly mute about the obvious and growing public health problem that is addiction to the internet, particularly amongst our teens.
Here’s some snippets of some of the latest scientific literature on Pubmed to show you that IAD is a real and growing problem, regardless of society’s attempts to completely ignore it.
The following is excerpted from:
Internet Addiction: A Brief Summary of Research and Practice
Hilarie Cash,a,* Cosette D Rae,a Ann H Steel,a and Alexander Winklerb
THE OFFICIAL DEFINITION OF INTERNET ADDICTION DISORDER:
“[IAD] is accompanied by changes in mood, preoccupation with the Internet and digital media, the inability to control the amount of time spent interfacing with digital technology, the need for more time or a new game to achieve a desired mood, withdrawal symptoms when not engaged, and a continuation of the behavior despite family conflict, a diminishing social life and adverse work or academic consequences.”
HOW TO DIAGNOSE THE DISORDER:
“[T]he following five diagnostic criteria are required for a diagnosis of Internet addiction:
(1) Is preoccupied with the Internet (thinks about previous online activity or anticipate next online session);
(2) Needs to use the Internet with increased amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction;
(3) Has made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop Internet use;
(4) Is restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use;
(5) Has stayed online longer than originally intended.
Additionally, at least one of the following must also be present:
(6) Has jeopardized or risked the loss of a significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet;
(7) Has lied to family members, therapist, or others to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet;
(8) Uses the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (e.g., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression) (emphasis mine).
HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE AFFECTED?
There’s a crazy variation in official estimates, ranging from .3% to 38%.
I’m inclined to think that the 38% is much more realistic, for a number of reasons. Firstly, as I’ve been sharing with you here, this technology is profoundly affecting us at the physiological level, and can stimulate the mind and body - or relax it - in exactly the same sort of ways as chemical substances.
It’s addictive, mamash - and for people who want to make money, the best way of keeping their customers and punters queuing up and coming back for more is to make your offering addictive, physiologically (just ask the Columbian crack barons.)
The second reason I think the higher estimate is more realistic (and probably still not even really reflecting the true extent of the problem) is that you only have to look around your house, your family, your office, to see everyone is addicted to their devices.
This is not rocket science, but simple, every-day observation.
And the last reason I think the higher number is closer to the mark is because there’s a number of additional studies that suggest that is the case, some of which I’ll bring here:
SOME MORE RESEARCH ABOUT THE PREVELANCE OF IAD
“Internationally, up to 15.1% of intensive Internet use among adolescents is dysfunctional.”
It should be noted here that ‘dysfunctional’ use is classified as more than six hours of non-work related internet / gaming / online use a day. So any kid who is only spending 5 hours online every single day wouldn’t be classified as ‘dysfunctional’, in this study.
Effect of Gender and Physical Activity on Internet Addiction in Medical Students.
(The mind boggles as to how much internet you’d have to consume a day to qualify for an ‘extreme’ addiction…)
EVIDENCE THAT USING THE INTERNET IS SERIOUSLY AFFECTING OUR MOODS AND PHYSIOLOGY
Again, I’ve already been laying out the scientific basis for how electromagnetic fields can and do severely affect how the human mind and physiology reacts and behaves, affecting everything from hormones to stress levels and even, the amount of oxygen in the blood.
Western medicine is still a long way behind the curve of accepting something as out there that internet use (and its associated electromagnetic frequencies) could be stuffing up human health and giving people heart problems, headaches, and other physical symptoms of major subliminal stress and tension.
But here’s what some of the studies have to say between the links between internet use, and mental and emotional disorders:
“Poor self-rated health, unhappiness, and depression were significantly related with Internet addiction in male and female teens. Depressed girls had a much higher risk of internet addiction than boys who were experiencing similar feelings of depression.”
This last one is more than 12 years' old now. I can only imagine how 'bad' the picture would be today, when i-Phones are everywhere.
SUMMING THINGS UP
I could carry on writing this for another three years (as excessive research online is also another symptom of chronic internet addiction...), there’s just so much stuff out there making direct links between things like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, hostility, ADHD, self-harm and a whole bunch of other emotional issues and spending a lot of time watching the big (and small…) screen.
Remember, the baseline for ‘excessive use’ is fixed at anything over six hours a day - which makes the true scope of the problem much, much greater than anything that is being formally recognized or dealt with even by the people who are publicly talking about the so-called ‘Internet Addiction Disorder’, or IAD.
As a society, we have a huge problem on our hands. The more time we spend plugged in, tuned in, wired up, addicted to our screens, the more the hard-wiring of the brain and the body’s delicate physiological systems are being impacted, and messed-up.
If you look for the research to back this statement up, you’ll find it in reams.
But what you won’t find is any real solution to the problem, not least because most people are blissfully unaware of just how much internet use is directly impacting their physical and mental health.
So it falls to each of us, as individuals, to begin to turn this tanker around by turning off as much as possible, and actively looking for ways to scale back our unnecessary activities online.
It’s much easier said than done, as the internet is truly addictive, and breaking free of it is not an easy proposition. But it can be done! And BH, in the next post I’ll share some practical steps you can start to implement to minimize your time online as painlessly as possible.
At the end of his last book on electromagnetism, called ‘Cross Currents’ (published in 1990), the late Bob Becker, MD, wrote the following:
“While the [US] military was vigorously denying the very existence of bioeffects from electromagnetic field exposure, such bioeffects were actually being explored as potential weapons - weapons with the enormous advantage of being totally silent and imperceptible…
“A recent report derived from the testing program of the Microwave Research Department at the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research states: ‘Microwave energy in the range of 1 to 5 GHz, a militarily important range, penetrates all organ systems of the body and thus puts all organ systems at risk.’
“Effects on the central nervous system are considered very important. The testing program, begun in 1986, is divided into four parts:
1. prompt debilitation effects
2. prompt stimulation through auditory effects
3. work interference / stoppage effects, and
4. effects on stimulus-controlled behavior.
“The report goes on to state: ‘Microwave pulses appear to couple to the central nervous system and produce stimulation similar to electrical stimulation unrelated to heat.’ It appears that HPM (high-power pulsed microwaves are capable of altering behavior in the same fashion as Delgado’s electrical stimulation….
“The same report states: ‘[Electromagnetic] systems would be used to produce mild to severe physiological disruption or perceptual distortion or disorientation. They are silent, and countermeasures to them may be difficult to develop.”
BECKER'S SCARY PREDICTION
Becker, who’d had a number of run-ins with the US military over his decades’ long career concluded his book with the following warning:
“It would appear that the military may yet be able to completely control the minds of the civilian population.”
The US military didn’t like Bob Becker for a number of reasons, and were constantly trying to discredit him, and by his extension his testimony as an ‘expert witness’ on the way electromagnetic fields could seriously effect human beings.
Becker kept trying to sound the alarm on the number of different devices, fields and new types of technology that was being developed (very often, by the US military…), and the military and other vested interests kept closing him down.
Becker’s work had shown him that exposing human beings to certain frequencies, certain fields, could affect the functioning of the human mind and the human body in some very profound - and often very disturbing ways.
Once his last research project was mysteriously shut down and de-funded, Becker tried to share his knowledge via books written for the more general public, instead, and ‘The Body Electric’ and ‘Cross Currents’ are both highly recommended.
Now, why am I telling you all this?
Because recently, someone drew my attention to the clip, above, on Youtube, which talks about a number of very interesting electromagnetic patents that were filed by a certain ‘Hendricus G. Loos’ back around the time Becker was sounding the alarm about the US military’s interest in using energy fields to control human behavior.
You can go to the US Patents’ page HERE and see all this stuff for yourself, but here’s a few of his more um, interesting, patents (bolding mine):
Nervous system manipulation by electromagnetic fields from monitors
Patent number: 6506148
Abstract: Physiological effects have been observed in a human subject in response to stimulation of the skin with weak electromagnetic fields that are pulsed with certain frequencies near ½ Hz or 2.4 Hz, such as to excite a sensory resonance.
Many computer monitors and TV tubes, when displaying pulsed images, emit pulsed electromagnetic fields of sufficient amplitudes to cause such excitation. It is therefore possible to manipulate the nervous system of a subject by pulsing images displayed on a nearby computer monitor or TV set. For the latter, the image pulsing may be imbedded in the program material, or it may be overlaid by modulating a video stream, either as an RF signal or as a video signal.
The image displayed on a computer monitor may be pulsed effectively by a simple computer program. For certain monitors, pulsed electromagnetic fields capable of exciting sensory resonances in nearby subjects may be generated even as the displayed images are pulsed with subliminal intensity.
Filed: June 1, 2001
Date of Patent: January 14, 2003
Inventor: Hendricus G. Loos
PLAIN ENGLISH EXPLANATION:
This technology can be used by ‘whoever’ to directly affect your nervous system - including your physiological responses and your mood - simply by getting you to watch something as ‘innocent’ as a commercial, program or movie clip on a TV or computer monitor.
I don’t know about you, but that by itself is quite enough to freak me out!
But let’s take a look at one more of ‘Hendricus’ patents:
Magnetic excitation of sensory resonances
Patent number: 5935054
Abstract: The invention pertains to influencing the nervous system of a subject by a weak externally applied magnetic field with a frequency near 1/2 Hz. In a range of amplitudes, such fields can excite the 1/2 sensory resonance, which is the physiological effect involved in "rocking the baby". The wave form of the stimulating magnetic field is restricted by conditions on the spectral power density, imposed in order to avoid irritating the brain and the risk of kindling.
The method and apparatus can be used by the general public as an aid to relaxation, sleep, or arousal, and clinically for the control of tremors, seizures, and emotional disorders.
Filed: June 7, 1995
Date of Patent: August 10, 1999
Inventor: Hendricus G. Loos
While this one sounds much more benign, at least superficially, it’s again about directly affecting your mood and your thought patterns remotely via electromagnetic fields.
PLAIN ENGLISH EXPLANATION: This piece of technology can literally turn people into ‘chilled out’ brainless zombies.
There’s so much more to be said about this, but with the background I’ve just given you above, take a look at the clip, and MAKE YOUR OWN MIND UP about whether the late Bob Becker, MD, was exaggerating.
(Last point: I'm not necessarily endorsing the author's views in this video, but it's certainly very interesting and requires more thought and consideration.)
The late Dr John Sarno, MD, was considered to be quite a maverick by the medical establishment. Over the last few decades of his life, his research and practice into the causes and cures of backache led him to the remarkable viewpoint that MOST of the body’s aches and pains were caused by EMOTIONAL ISSUES, and not physical wear-and-tear on the body.
Despite running a number of well-designed clinical trials which proved his thesis, and despite having thousands and thousands of ‘cured’ patients that the medical establishment had pretty much given up on, his peers in Western medicine still regarded Dr Sarno as something of a lunatic.
I mean, everyone knows that backaches (and hip aches, and neck aches and a few other things besides) only happen because of a physical cause or accident. The person strained themselves, stretched themselves, bent down funny, herniated a disk, wore-out a hip bone… Case closed, there’s nothing more to discuss.
Except…Western medicine is plain wrong on that score, as I’ve been going on about for years’ now, not least in a couple of my books: Talk to God and Fix Your Health: The Real Reasons Why We Get Sick and How to Stay Healthy, and How Your Emotions Are Making You Sick.
Chinese medicine and other reputable energy medicine practices like applied kinesiology have been making the link between ‘emotions’ and ‘physical health’ for millennia. But Western medicine, with its frankly lunatic need to see human beings as chemical compositions and bits of animated meat, has been so ‘anti’ the idea that a person’s emotions, or spiritual dimension, has anything to do with their physical health, that even medical doctors touting excellent research can’t really persuade them otherwise.
So, what is it that Dr Sarno actually says about it all?
(The best thing is to go and read one of his books, like ‘Healing back pain: the mind-body connection’, but let’s see if I can sum it up for you below).
CHRONIC BACK PAIN IS NOT USUALLY CAUSED BY STRUCTURAL PROBLEMS
First, he identified that in nearly all cases chronic back pain was NOT being caused by herniated disks, slipped disks, dissolving disks or other ‘structural’ issues. He discovered that in nearly all cases, a person’s back pain started up in response to some sort of notable stress, that got ‘somatized’ as back pain.
Somatization basically means that the human brain takes a big emotional pain that it doesn’t really want to deal with or face on the conscious level, and turns it into a physical pain instead.
He discovered that people were having massive attacks of debilitating back pain after having enormous problems at work, or in their marriages and families, or when someone they loved died, or when they were facing enormous financial issues, to name some of the most common reasons.
He also discovered that a particular type of person, one that he characterized as being ‘a worrier, overly-conscientious and responsible, compulsive and perfectionist’ was distinctly more prone to chronic and severe physical aches and pains.
But that still didn’t answer the question of HOW the body was transforming these ‘emotional pains’ into physical pains, which is the next question Dr Sarno set out to answer. He came up with what I’ll call a ‘Western Medical’ description of the problem, and identified a syndrome that he called Tension Myoneural Syndrome, or TMS for short.
He discovered that TMS could affect three different types of tissue:
He also discovered that most patients - 40% in one survey he conducted - believed that their chronic back pain began thanks to some sort of fall or physical accident that had happened a long time ago.
Sarno began to take issue with this belief, because as he notes in his book:
“Our body parts tend to heal very quickly when they are injured. Even the largest bone in the body, the femur, only takes six weeks to heal. And during that process, there is pain for only a very short time. It’s illogical to think that an injury that occurred two months ago might still be causing pain, not to mention one or two or ten years ago. And yet people have been so thoroughly indoctrinated with the idea of persistent injury that they accept it without question.”
So Sarno started to look for an alternative explanation for what was causing the feeling of pain. After many years of exploring the question, he came to the conclusion that oxygen deprivation and the autonomic nervous system (ANS) was at the root of the problem.
UNDERSTANDING THE AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (ANS)
The autonomic nervous system, or ANS, is controlled by the primitive part of the brain that is responsible for all of the body’s involuntary functions, like breathing, digestion, heart-rate, sleep and - yes you guessed it! - the fight / flight / freeze / fawn stress response that I like to write so much about here, on spiritual self-help.
Sarno realized that the ANS controls the body’s blood flow - with exquisite, detailed precision - increasing and decreasing the blood flow to whatever part of the body it wishes.
When a part of the body gets less blood flow than it should- something that’s called ischemia in Western medical parlance - it also gets less oxygen. When human tissue gets lets oxygen than it requires, that causes a whole bunch of physical symptoms like pain, numbness, tingling and weakness.
Sarno identified that repressed anger and repressed anxiety were the main emotions causing the ANS to pull the ‘oxygen deprivation’ stunt in the body (and it’s no coincidence that these are the main emotions traumatized people try to repress, as discussed in detail in other posts.)
WHAT TYPES OF PHYSICAL CONDITIONS COULD BE TRACED TO TMS / EMOTIONAL CAUSES?
Next, Sarno identified some of the most common ‘illnesses’ that he believed were also being caused by a TMS / oxygen deprivation response to emotional triggers. As well as straight-up ‘pain’, these also included:
He also identified a number of ‘diagnoses’ that were usually given by medical doctors to ‘explain’ much of the pain his patients were experiencing as a result of the emotional-based problem of TMS, including:
Herniated discs, pinched nerves, the Facet Syndrome, arthritis of the spine, transitional verterbra, spondylosis, spina bifida occulta, spondylolisthesis, scoliosis, osteoarthritis of the hip, chondromalacia, bone spurs, bursitis, tendonitis, coccydynia, neuroma, plantar fasciitis, mononeuritis multiplex, Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome (TMJ), inflammation, and soft tissue disorders including fibromyalgia (fibrositis, myofibrositis and myofasciitis).
Yes, these things may be observed in the body, but Sarno stressed again and again: this isn’t what’s causing the pain!!! The pain was coming from unresolved emotional issues that the brain was ‘hiding’ away as a physical pain problem via decreased blood flow / reduced oxygenation.
SO, WHAT’S THE CURE?
This next part of the story is my favorite bit. Sarno discovered that the main cure for his patients’ many forms of chronic pain was simply to understand that the unconscious mind was using them to ‘hide’ some sort of emotional pain, usually related to repressed anger and / or repressed anxiety.
In Sarno’s experience, even just two hours of ‘education’ about the emotional causes of their pain was enough to actually permanently ‘cure’ the problem - with the proviso that his patients HAD to believe in the diagnosis that the root of their pain was emotional, and not structural.
And his success rates were phenomenal!
In one study done in 1987 with a group of 109 patients who’d all been clearly diagnosed with ‘herniated disk’, 88 percent reported that they were ‘free, or nearly free of pain’ and enjoying unrestricted physical activity, 10 percent said they were ‘improved, with some pain, and some restricted activity’ and 2 per cent - the two that had the most severe and persistent psychological issues - reported no change.
WHY DOES JUST KNOWING THE PROBLEM IS EMOTIONAL CURE THE PAIN?
Sarno was of the view that the unconscious mind was using physical pain to ‘divert attention’ away from emotions that the person felt overwhelmed by, or didn’t want to face or acknowledge. As soon as the patient ‘blew the cover’ of the physical pain by accepting that it was caused by an emotional issue (usually repressed anger or repressed anxiety) - the body could no longer use the physical pain as a diversion tactic, so it quickly stopped doing it.
Again, his books are full of letters from the thousands and thousands of people who Sarno successfully treated with this approach, most of whom had completely exhausted every other avenue of help and relief.
THE LAST WORD: SURGERY AS A PLACEBO EFFECT
As a last word, I just wanted to mention Sarno’s conviction that most surgery for these conditions - when it worked - was simply because it was acting as a sort of ‘placebo’ affect for the patient.
He reported that while many of his patients experienced some sort of temporary relief from their original pain (in those cases where it actually worked), typically the pain or problem would resurface in some other area, as the unconscious mind continued its diversion tactics to keep the person away from painful and overwhelming negative emotions.
Again, there’s so much to say about this subject but for now, I recommend that people take a look at Dr Sarno’s books for themselves (and maybe also the two I authored, mentioned above) and next time they have one of the physical issues listed here, to take a deep breath and ask themselves:
What am I angry or anxious about, that maybe I'm finding it hard to admit?
One of the things that I’ve often been asked - and sometimes also criticized about - is why I write so openly on my websites about my own personal struggles.
There have been many answers to this question over the years, but the one I currently like the most is described very nicely in Pete Walker’s excellent book: C-PTSD: from surviving to thriving. There, Pete writes the following:
“A central aspect of the truly helpful relational work was what John Bradshaw calls ‘healing the shame that binds’. I believe toxic shame cannot be healed without some relational help. Several therapists and groups aided me greatly to unbind from the shame that made me hide whenever I couldn’t invoke my perfect persona.
“Concurrently, I learned that real intimacy correlated with the amount I shared my vulnerabilities. As I increasingly practiced emotional authenticity, the glacier of my lifelong loneliness began to melt.”
As Pete Walker encapsulates so nicely, when you’re walking around trying to pretend that you’re ‘perfect’, or always 100% put-together, or always have the answers, or the faith that you’re meant to have, you end up feeling so very lonely on the inside.
Because you aren’t being REAL.
Even if you’re surrounded by millions of friends, and have a fulfilling career, and a big family etc etc, if you can’t be REAL (at least for a lot of the time) - then you will feel like the loneliest person on the planet.
Traumatized people often find it very difficult to let their guards down and be REAL, because they’ve usually experienced so much mockery, criticism, and lack of acceptance. When you grow up in a traumatizing environment, it’s safer to hide your flaws and struggles behind a big wall of aggressive perfectionism than to risk being made to feel awful because you aren’t always perfect, all the time.
Like it or not, Western society promotes and glorifies shaming other people in the cruelest of ways. I think mocking other people has taken the place of the gladiator sports that were so popular in ancient Rome, except now we cut people’s heads off with blog comments, ‘jokes’ and Facebook posts instead of swords and spears.
It’s understandable that so many people dive for cover in the face of this very unhealthy mode of interacting with others. It’s very, very hard to maintain ‘real’ around cruel, superficial, hyper-critical people.
(If you’re wondering how I deal with that myself, the short answer is that I try to avoid these people as much as possible, because otherwise they drive me completely bonkers and push me back into ‘feeling ashamed’ flashbacks within a nanosecond.)
But not everyone is like that. I’m learning the more I go along that there are some amazing people out there, who value and cherish real interactions. I think there are probably a lot more of us than is sometimes obvious, because as I mentioned, a lot of us hide our ‘real’ self away to avoid being attacked and mocked by the psychos.
And that’s one very big reason why I try to write ‘real’, as much as possible, because the more real I can be, the more those other people will also start to feel safe to express their own brand of ‘real’ in the world.
Yes, it would definitely be easier to write from a place of having a ‘perfect persona’ a lot of the time. I’d probably ‘fit’ into more people’s boxes a little easier, and stop pressing buttons in very repressed individuals who find honesty dangerous. I also wouldn’t open myself up to people thinking ‘less’ of me because I’m not perfect after all.
But you know what? The path of pretend perfection kills the soul. So I could end up looking like I was doing better from the outside (maybe…) but I guarantee I’d be feeling a whole lot worse. And a whole lot lonelier. A whole lot more like I didn’t really ‘fit’ anywhere in the world.
Being real is risky sometimes. Being real can sometimes alienate people who aren’t ‘real’ themselves, and who find it far too overwhelming to deal with. Being real means there’s no-where to hide when your flaws and negative character traits come roaring out at you.
But being real is also the way to truly forge deep connections to other people, and to God, and to ourselves. And if that’s the only benefit you get from being real (and I don’t think it is), it’s more than worth it.
Before we return to our discussion about the more standard aspects of C-PTSD - and especially, what can you actually really DO, in real time, to start dealing with it and ameliorating it, I just wanted to spend one more post looking at inherited trauma, and encouraging you to think about whether you're really just dealing with someone else's problem, without even knowing it.
The following list of questions comes from Mark Wolynn's site, HERE.
Take a look down the list, and if you start to realise that you're answering 'yes' to quite a few questions (or even just a few 'biggies...) then explore the option that you may well have some inherited trauma to work through and deal with.
If that's the case, I highly recommend you pick up a copy of Wolynn's book: It didn't start with you, and work through his exercises.
If you want to find the answers to what may be slowing you down or holding you back in life, God will certainly show them to you if you even just take the tiniest step towards finding the truth.
Three Generations of Family History
Below are some family history questions to consider before we work together. You don’t need to write anything down or send anything in advance. You may need to do a little research, however, by asking your parents or other family members. Don’t worry if there are answers you can’t get. What you already know will be enough.
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